I tried to workaholic my way through the pain, I published a book of blog posts we had written together, and I laid on the grass and cried every night for more than a year. Slowly, through the tears, I realized the true me was still there…the me that he loved, and maybe I should try to love her. I realized not all my thoughts were full of devastation and pain, but somewhere in there was hope to build on and a curiosity to see what creative projects I could share with the world in the next half of my life.
I spent several more years researching my brain, practicing yoga, breath work and meditation, learned how to fail repeatedly, and started to believe anything is possible.
The result is unshakeable love for those around me, acceptance of all of life’s circumstances, and a hope that I can light the pathway for one person at a time, one thought at a time. There’s a reason you are here and I can’t wait to connect.
Then my fiance died. And I thought my life was over.
I had always looked to others for approval and external affirmation of my work and my worth. And that worked for a long time. But I was exhausted and overwhelmed most of the time. My mind kept repeating the same problematic thoughts over and over with senseless insecurities and thoughts that held me back.